Where the hell did swine flu go/Did swine flu go to hell?

Yes, this is the question I asked myself this morning after I woke up from the nightmare in which I was wondering the ghetto in Sofia and could not remember where my flat was, seeing psycho faces all around and walking across the sea trying unsuccessfully not to get my feet wet. I must have been pretty overwhelmed by negative thoughts recently- moreover, since my return to the Vaterland and to the Bulgarian reality of pessimism, unemployment and zigzagging through the holes in the roads and in people's heads, I am becoming cynical. Cynical, but healthy, which is still considered to be the utmost expression of wellbeing. So, yes, I am at least in good health even though this doing-nothing is sucking my energy. Among possible reasons I could think of are: eating my mom's food, plenty of fresh vegetables, enough sleep (if I manage to wake up at all) and last but not least- the fact that I never got the chance to experience swine flu, which obviously all the planet was endangered with.
Where did the swine flu go at all? I have not heard a word about it in several months now and I am really starting to worry. As obviously it failed to knock me down with pain, fever, and endanger my overly precious life, my cynical self has invented some theories about its end, which I will only confine to my small to nonexistent Internet audience. And if they by any chance offend your grief, your feelings and sound politically incorrect (for any clarifications on political correctness, ask the Americans or watch Southpark), I strongly recommend you to interrupt reading this piece of nothing immediately. Anyways, back to the search of the extinct swine flu danger.
Theory number one: Great theories are usually simple theories that only few people dared express because of the simple fact that what they had to say sounded too simple. Let's remember how last year we were all advised to keep good personal hygiene, use antibacterial gels to sanitize our hands and wash them frequently. Well, half the people I know or meet randomly in public bathrooms seem to forget to wash their hands after they visit those facilities. Having in mind the overall number of people on the planet who were actually proven to have died or been affected by swine flu, given that under the swine flu prevention propaganda half of the people I know started washing their hands due to fear of contamination, and applying simple statistical and mathematical laws (you apply them, I cannot) I could conclude the following: all the remaining swine flu viruses went down the drain, washed away by soap, wet wipes and normal tap water. Elementary, my dear Watson.
Theory number two: The erruption of the volcano in Iceland which I for simplistic reasons call Ejaculator (which maybe has little to do with its real name but refers more to its real function) simply destroyed all the remaining H1N1s or sent them high where the skys are blue where airplanes will not fly until further notice. The dark cloud carrying across the European continent rocks, dust, volcano particles and the most explosion-resistent H1N1 maybe passing above your country in the moment you are reading (or not) this. And if it starts raining cats and dogs, celebrate it, it could be raining pigs. Hallelujah!
Theory number three: My least favourite. Having in mind that it is on the pigs to blame for spreading this lethal disease that will not only transform you into a pig but is also threatening to kill you, I guess someone could have well killed the swine species in the middle of some dark night (just like certain people decided to kill Jews, intellectuals, Polish military officials in Katyn, John Kennedy etc-). Maybe no pig is left alive on the earth now except for George Clooney's pet- I have no idea, ask Ms Cannalis. Maybe nowadays we are being served dogs and cats, or mad cows, or soya meat substitutes instead. But at least the swine threat is gone, or so it seems to me.
Theory number four: Polish people, do not hate me. Moreover, if you are angry at the Italian newspaper L'Unita, do not get me involved. I am deeply sorry for the great loss the Polish elite suffered, for the President and its wife, for the high state officials which died in the airplane crash. But has it ever occurred to somebody that maybe they were also carrying on the plane the last remnants of the notorious H1N1 viruses and they sacrificed their lives to save mankind? Because that is what real Catholics do,isn't it? They love their others more than they love themselves. And Kaczynski was a conservative Catholic with conservative values. Thank you, Polish men. You maybe saved my life. Rest in peace.
Theory number five: I actually do not have a fifth theory of my own. But I am going to ask the birds and the cows about their experience, and I will get back to you. Until then, OINK!

My last morning at this institution of democracy, human rights and the rule of law

My thinking process has obviously been neglected in the last two weeks, for the obvious and not-so-obvious reasons that I have been spending more time out, spring fatigue and apathy have settled in, and because I had my sister visiting. However, here you can find some of the fruits of my early morning thinking process- represented in numbers- in the bright light of my last day of my traineeship at the Council of Europe.

1. One, or better to say- once-in-a-lifetime experience- this how my optimistique-moi could evaluate very partially the last three months of my life that I spent in Strasbourg. Further explanation why would follow when emotions calm down and I can think clearly again from the distance of place and time.
2. Two more nights left to spend in Strasbourg. Only one in the bed I was paying good money for. Eh...
3. Three months of a paid job searching and so far no results (almost none). I think it's time now, the joke's not funny anymore.
4. Four Todorovis under the same roof in Italy in just a couple of days. Looking forward to it, finally a family reunion abroad!
5. Only five of my best friends are still in Strasbourg. Creme de la creme!
6. Six is about the number of things I need to buy for myself in order to face the spring- shoes, jeans, blouses, bags, an Ipod, a new perfume. And I am being modest here!
7. Out of the seven deadly sins I could have committed in Strasbourg I think I could only be blamed for one- loth- if I am not counting the times I dropped my nerves in virtual conversations.
8. Eight years I have lived outside of my house, and soon I will be coming back to my roots. It is going to be quite a change, but maybe it's time...
9. Nine months until the end of the year, and if I have to wait all that time to find a job and for the crisis to be gone, I can only think of one way to nicely fill up that time.
10. Ten hours of travelling are expecting me on Thursday. Scary driver and a claustrophobic car are all included in the price. They say that the journey is more important than the destination. I am going to try to prove that axiom wrong. Italy, mamma's coming home!

I-thought NOT

The day is a completely relaxed, uneventful and greyish Sunday. It actually feels good to spend time alone given that there is nothing better to do (and it saves money too). No thoughts today, just music. Started off with Fatboy Slim, continued with the Prodigy, Hearts of Tibet, Duke Ellington (the guy is a genius), and here I am back to what I started last Sunday- good ol' Faith No More- I wonder why I like them so much recently. I guess it's the deep anger they convey and that corresponds very well to what is starting to accumulate in my head/heart/both and will probably lead to an explosion of tears any time soon. But as far as today is concerned, tears are not on the agenda, especially after reading this article. English speakers, click here.

I was once told that people in Naples can sell to tourists anything, including an empty sealed jar, labelled as "Aria di Napoli" (air from Naples). Well, apparently it is not just poor people from Naples (who have been absolutely unjustly convicted of being Antichrists), there go the Brits as well. Oh no, wait a second- they are actually giving out the fresh air for free as part of their apparently very friendly PR campaign! The special limited edition of this air has been captured in the English country side and will serve to satisfy at least part of the daily needs of the average stressed worker in the United Kingdom. Great idea, chaps, you just found a new way to paraphrase the old saying about Mohammed and the mountain to "If the worker cannot find fresh air, fresh air will find the worker". In a jar. And since this is allegedly going to be genuine country air, I wonder if it will as well come in different flavors, such as "cow's excrements", "fresh rain on a hay stack", "pine wood", "dead algae'...

I am actually quite interested in the results this campaign is going to have. More important than that, I would also recommend it to the municipality of Sofia. I would appreciate walking in the center of the city with my nose deeply stuck in a jar and getting high on fresh country air, which would actually save me from having to inhale the nasty vapors of the old cars and fast food restaurants. In the meantime, due to the severe lack of fresh air, I'll keep pouring whisky in the jar and hoping to stay as far as possible from the countryside. I am a city girl, after all.

Strasbourg: The Council of Europe Series 2

I just came to thinking that for more than two months in Strasbourg I have not taken a single photograph of the city, nor have I had the chance to really stroll about it unconstrained by severe weather conditions such as snow, rain, fog, cold, wind or all of the above at practically the same time. It is a shame, because although the city does not have a lot to offer in terms of social life, it is still a place where I think I can live and actually live well. And then, as I am about to end my French experience in a few weeks from now, here are some more general observations about Strasbourg and its people:
1. I happen to live in the ugliest neighbourhood of the city, which one can easily recognise by the agglomeration of blocks of flats, rectangular buildings in beige and similar pastel colours, and few to none green areas (not counting the Parc de la Citadelle which I am very lucky to be able to see from the window). This neighbourhood would look disturbingly much after the sad neighbourhoods of panel blocks built during Communist times if it were not for the cleanliness, the clearly marked parking places and the working elevators in the buildings in which having a working light bulb in the staircase is actually considered normal and not a luxury.
2. To me, Strasbourg is as French as I am Greek. It goes without saying that you can hardly find anything not written in French or anyone who would not look down on you for the fact that you don't speak French, but in terms of life order, people's appearances and even food, I'd rather think that I'm living in a German community.
3. Please disregard all I said above, because I just thought of something which makes Strasbourg French enough to deserve its geographical location- cleanliness. Never had I seen people with hair that greasy, supermarkets that stinky and personal hygiene habits so unavailable as here. Just a simple example: nobody but me seemed to find strange this child I saw the other day writing his homework sitting comfortably on the pavement in front of the school with all his books scattered and around and a croissant left on the ground next to it. Nobody seems to care about washing their hands after using the lavatory. Nobody seems to notice that beer glasses in the pubs are not being properly washed. Nobody seems to notice that public lavatories stink of piss.
4. Apparently my frequent visits to the supermarkets have led to a lot of conclusions about people here- Yes, I like standing in line looking at what they buy and how much they pay for it. This is how I very subjectively judge about their lifestyle and income. My general conclusion is that people do not seem to eat very healthy here (and after all, who eats healthy these days?). All I see on the cash lines in the supermarkets is white bread, frozen, canned, half-made or ready-made meals (not OK, even if branded by WeightWatchers- I actually prefer to watch myweight myself and not have anyone watch it for me but oh, who cares). All I have been given in the canteens is heavy sauces, hard meat, smelly fish and overcooked pasta. All I care to order in restaurants is a tarte flambee because it is about the only one local speciality I can eat. French people, your sweets are lovely, but aren't you neglecting the salty part somehow?
5. I just found out that every statement I make here contradicts the previous ones. Look at my colleague with whom I'm sharing the office- here daily routine is impeccable- two apples, or two oranges, at 4p.m., every day. This must be a French thing as she is not the only on doing it- the sound of biting apples in the early afternoon hours is starting to conquer my floor.
6. It is actually OK to burp in public here and not be considered impolite or disgusting. Way to go!
7. People who are originally from Strasbourg are deeply convinced that Strasbourg is the best place in the world to live in. I wonder if they're right.

Photographs illustrating my experience will follow whenever we get positive air temperatures ad some sun here.

I-thought of the day (March 10, 2010)

1. My day started with a great compliment I received as soon as I got off the tram on my way to work. A group of 15-year-old-looking Italian teenagers in sport pants and Tokyo Hotel hoodies called me "Guardate che figa" (Look what a chick!). They really made my day.
2. Word of the day: utopia. For a contemporary definition, click here.
3. Word of the evening: apathy. I'm too apathetic to search for its definition now.
4. Walking is the only exercise I can afford to do here, and probably the most pleasant one as well. It temporarily clears your mind off the serious thoughts that run into your head when locked among four walls.
5. Оттук нататък продължавам на български, не само защото така ми харесва, а и защото скоро май ще ми влезе обратно в употреба. Един дерт по-малко.
6. Липсва ми да се грижа за някого. В момента да се грижа само за собствената си особа е отегчително, въпреки че външните резултати са задоволителни. Де да знаех и как сама да се подстрижа, косата ми расте, ли расте.
7. Всеки втори ден меля на главата на хората за едно и също нещо с ясното съзнание, че ставам досадна. Тези, на които меля, си знаят кои са и по-добре да се стягат в най-скоро време.
8. Добавям миенето на чинии към действията, които ти прочистват мозъка от негативни мисли. Има нещо магично в бавното и отмерено въртене на гъбата с лек натиск и отмиването на пяната, която леко се спуска към канала и се смесва с горещата вода докато изчезва.
9. Започва да ми харесва идеята да живея в собствен дом, който да пазя и подреждам както на мен ми се иска и ми е приятно. Тази идея също така се нарича 'Да се завърнеш в бащината къща' (или съответно в тази, която родителите са направили за теб, да са живи и здрави).
10. Чудя се дали блогвам по задължение или защото ми харесва да го правя всеки ден. Май по-скоро второто с елементи на първото.

I-thought of the day (March9, 2010)

The day has been marked by one word: regression. Not an arithmetical or a geometrical one, God forbid (I hardly have an idea what regression in mathematical terms means)! A good substitute for the word of the day could as well be the inertia, so the thoughts follow accordingly:

1. Right here to where we started or at least we're getting there with the speed of light: jobless, clueless, amidst the crisis which is not only ruining our families financially but is devastating the young people's hopes and dreams (and this is a scar so deep that no money compensation could never suffice to erase it- I'm talking about myself here). I'm slowly going towards my 26th birthday and it seems to me that I had achieved more when I was 23. At least I was full of expectations and optimism.
2. People are hopelessly envious. Sometimes I have the feeling that it is envy that motivates you above anything else, not ambition.
3. I think that I am doing something terribly wrong but have no clue what it is. Can't blame the system for everything, can I?
4. The day tasted like my lunch- mashed potatoes with vegetables which they called with some pompous French name- it tasted like rubber. Blunt, dull, tasteless , insignificant.
5. More sweets in my room=more need of mood elevators. Looking forward to opening those brownies I bought from the supermarket.
6. I need a good face moisturizer, but I do not want to pay for it. Shall I consider becoming a thief as apparently honest labour leads to a dead end?
7. Today I had a weird observation about cars. Most of the cars that are being driven here are neither luxurious, nor new. Italy is not as rich as France but the cars they drive there are much better. Question: what do French people spend their money on? I need to find that out.
8. Evenings are getting all the same. I need to break the pattern otherwise my thoughts are going to get darker and darker.
9. Since I read Berbatov's first appearance in the blogosphere, I don't think I will be the same person ever again. Bad PR, mate, very bad!
10. Today I was sitting in the tram on my way back from work and when I looked around I did not see one normally looking young person. Which somehow gives me a subtle, but living hope that I still have a chance somewhere.

I-thought of the day (March 8, 2010)

The day was marked by my growing frustration with the weather outside- cold, wind, desperation and no signs of spring on the horizon. The fact that it is Monday did not help at all to make me feel better. Here are some of the random and totally insignificant things that made my brain slowly roll.

1. Sandra Bullock won an Oscar and a Golden Razzie. Un giorno di ordinaria follia, as the Italians nicely put it in a movie once.
2. Hollywood is experiencing a significant crisis of good taste. Actors with absurd beards and haircuts, actresses looking like: a. cakes b. lumps of flesh c. old bags d. who-knows-what had conquered the red carpet.
3. My food cravings are growing proportionally to the cold. I just hope my butt doesn't do the same.
4. Can't seem to find the right music for today. Cesaria Evora couldn't do the job. Suggestions?
5. 'Happy 8th of March to all the ones who are proud to be named 'women'...damn, I thought my name was Lily...or at least I've been told so for 25 years. Mom?!
6. I actually started thinking that going grocery shopping on Saturday in Germany is a good weekend plan.
7. Lots of people bore me. To death.
8. In times of crisis, don't give up. Because it can always get worse (or better, but I'm not sure about the latter). Oscar Wilde, I need your cynicism to make it through the day.
9. Substituted the SATC episode before going to sleep with a book. Feels quite good actually.
10. Monday evening- so uneventful, so quiet, so looking forward for it to be over!