On Sacrifice..Kinda

If life abroad has ever taught me something, then this must be the art of making sacrifices. I regret to say it, but these are mostly financial. Sacrifice to me is something that one wants strongly, but you should give up eventually. Like the pair of shoes that you see in the shop and that you just drop as a hot piece of iron as soon as you see the price tag. Like a tempting piece of cake when you just went on a fruit and vegetable diet. Like when your child daughter asks you for a Matel's Barbie doll and all you can get her is a Chinese imitation. Like counting to 10 when someone makes you lose your temper instead of blowing it right away in his/her arrogant face.

Take an example. Since February last year, when all my friends but me went to see Venice's carnival, I was determined not to miss it the following year. In fact also this morning I woke up with the idea that I would be finally going there or tomorrow, or Saturday the latest. But when I was hit with a hard dose of reality upon checking my bank account and thinking of the extra money I need to spend next week because I should go to Ljubljana again to take my last exam, not sleep for two consecutive nights, needing to face a demanding professor who by the way is an old bachelor with a special interest in girls' boobs, combined with the fact that I am feeling already quite guilty that I spent all those money on clothes and accessories during the winter sales, I guess I will just skip it again  until next year. 

Until better times come. After I finish with the exams. After I find a job. After I become financially independent from my parents (and I am sooo grateful I always have them behind my back, really). After I find that job, despite the crisis. After seeing that most of the people I know are already settled and having cocktails after work, which I would only be able to pay for with the debit card my parents charge everytime I go back to Italy. After I start to get the results and their financial depiction of the hugeee investment of money, labour, nerves, etc. in the fund called "Lily's education". 

Well, I guess these are too many after's. The future might seem quite well planned and organized (and yes, I know that nothing ever occurs as planned). I wonder what's now though. Cause I feel I am feeling I am slowly marching at the same spot. Travelling without moving- this was the refrain of an old trance song by the Astral Projection. I guess that should do it for now.

Still sacrifice is good, isn't it? It makes you patient. It allows you to enjoy and be content with what you have. In the end, who needs all that crowd in Venice, and I am sure on Saturday it will be just hellish!

p.s. Oh yes, and I know what's tonight at least- a dinner to look forward to. Enjoy the small things in life! And this is not sarcastic!:))